Dynasty Chat
by kayladw7
Summary: Have a favorite Dynasty Warrior character that you want to know more about? Join us on Dynasty Chat and all of your questions will be answered...hopefully. Today's interview- Zhen Ji of Wei!
1. Season 1, Interview 1: Cao Pi of Wei

Hello. My name is Kylie, formally known as Empress Jing of Jin . Welcome to my talk show, Dynasty Chat. Let me explain to you what it is and how it works.

Dynasty Chat is a talk show that I host and ask your (meaning my) favorite Dynasty Warriors and Dynasty Warriors couples questions that you (meaning me again) want answered.

Because of the fact I have very limited creative abilities, I allow my readers to send in questions that they have (leaving the name of the Warrior or couple that you wish to be interviewed).

With that said, I also have a co- host who is running fashionably late (did I mention that I also have **EXTREMELY **limited patience?).

_10 minutes later_

We're going to go ahead and begin (Dylan has been fired). Today, I will be interviewing the evil emperor, Cao Pi.

_(He comes out from behind stage and seats himself across from me)_

Me: Welcome to Dynasty Chat, Cao Pi! How are you today?

Cao Pi: *Glares at me* I'll be fine when you quit wasting my time.

Me: *Frowning* Well then. First Question is from author DeathsColdEmbrace.

_Why did you die your hair?_

Cao Pi: _I _never died my hair. The Koei people did. Besides, black hair is better. So yeah… Next question.

Me: *Still frowning at him for his rudeness in taking my line* The next question is from author DeathsColdEmbrace again.

_Why are you always frowning?_

Cao Pi: *Still frowning* What is the reason to walk around smiling like an idiot for?

Me: *Bored by Cao Pi* The next question is from an anonymous fan.

_Will you go on a date with me?_

Cao Pi: *Smirking* That depends on what you look like, my dear.

Me: Aren't you married, Zihuan?

Cao Pi: I am married to many women. Why?

Me: If you are married, why are you trying to catch a date with someone? To be exact, someone you don't even know. How would that make Zhen Ji feel? Or that piece of trash Guo Nuwang? How would they feel?

Cao Pi: I can care less about how Zhen feels.

Me: What about Nuwang and the thousands of other wives you have?

Cao Pi: Do you mind?

Me: Mind what?

Cao Pi: You are annoying.

Me: I know you are.

Cao Pi: *Glaring* If you are not going to say anything productive, leave me be.

Me: If you were not prepared for one of the questions, you should have informed me of what you did not want to talk about. *Look back at the camera* The next question is from author Element Life!

_Exactly how many wives and children do you have?_

Cao Pi: A lot.

Me: _How _many?

Cao Pi: *Stares at me*

Me: *Stares back at him*

Cao Pi: *Smirks deviously*

Zhen Ji: *Running towards Cao Pi* YOU MONSTER! *Takes her shoe off and chunks it at Cao Pi*

Cao Pi: *Gets hit in the head and is now unconscious*

Me: We are experiencing marriage difficulties. Please enjoy the following pointless commercials as we go to break.

_5 minutes later_

Me: *Staring at Cao Pi* Welcome back to Dynasty Chat! With the…situation we had corrected, we can now continue interviewing Cao Pi.

Me: *Sighs* Next question is from author DeathsColdEmbrace…again.

_Are you loyal?_

Cao Pi: *Holding an icepack to his head* … Hell no. Why would I be loyal to anyone if I don't have to?

Me: Are you loyal to your people?

Cao Pi: You mean am I loyal to Wei? Why wouldn't I be? I am the kingdoms emperor.

Me: Next question is from author IgNighted.

_What would you have done if you had lived longer? Do you trust Sima Yi and would Cao Rui be your heir I mean because they turned kind of sucky for you._

Cao Pi: …I would have found out where you live and beaten you up. I'm sure any of my inferiors would have done the same.

Me: *Blinks* Next question is from Fangirl98!

_Why are you always glaring?_

Cao Pi: *Pissed off*

Cao Pi: Can you read?

Me: I'm reading the questions, aren't I?

Cao Pi: …Do you have any grapes?

Me: Hey! I'm the one asking the questions. Not you.

Cao Pi: *Glares and spits on the floor*

Me: *Shocked and disgusted* Eww! Why would you do that? Clean it up!

Cao Pi: *Gets up and walks away, pulling a bag of grapes out of his pocket and eating them on his way*

Me: *Looking at the spit* Um… That's all for today people. Until next time! *Yells at the custodian* Get this cleaned up!

* * *

><p>AN: The authors used in today's interview were randomly selected. I just came up with Fangirl98, wherefore I doubt she is real. Next week I will be interviewing my husband, Sima Yi. If you have any questions for him, please leave them in your review.


	2. Season 1, Interview 2: Sima Yi of Jin

Me: Welcome back to Dynasty Chat! Thank you all for all of the reviews! Now (because of the fact that I will find you and come punch you in the face if you violate my rule) I will clarify a boundary that you will **NEVER **cross if you value your pathetic lives. **NEVER EVER CALL SIMA YI ZHONGDA. **With that said, please welcome my husband, Sima Yi!

_(He comes out from behind the stage and we make out for an hour before sitting down across from one another)_

Me: Welcome to Dynasty Chat, Zhongda! How are you today?

Zhongda: Fine.

Me: *Has big eyes* Well then, let's get the questions started. The first five questions are from author Tobi-Is-Fluffy-Chan!

_Are you or will you ever become a pimp?_

Zhongda: Why don't you come and find out? Are you a prostitute?

Tobi: *Is on Skype with us* No… And I don't think I want to find out…

Zhongda: Ok then. I am not a pimp.

Me: …Ok then! Here's the next question:

_What do you think of Zhuge Liang as a strategist?_

Zhongda: He is competent. I give him that.

Tobi: *Is still on Skype* Is that it, Zhongda-"

Me: **DON'T CALL HIM THAT!**

Tobi & Zhongda: Sheesh Kylie.

Me: *Has chillaxed* Ok! Next question:

_Do you think that Lu Xun is a good person for tactics?_

Zhongda: No. The only reason that stupid little boy beat the Shu forces at Yiling is because of the fact that Shu's imbecile of a leader, if I do say so myself, was thinking irrationally.

Me: I feel the exact same way, my love.

Zhongda: *Smirks*

Me: Next question.

_Have you ever wished to be immortal?_

Zhongda: No.

Me: … Ok! The next question is from author Minako the Dragon Maiden of DW!

_Why you like to laugh sometimes? I found it's annoying. (Even your son, Sima Shi has that from you)_

Sima Yi: I-

Sima Shi: *Yelling at Minako the Dragon Maiden of DW whom is now on Skype with us* My laugh goes hard, you ignorant child! *He then leaves*

Me, Zhongda, Tobi & Minako the Dragon Maiden of DW: *Blink*

_(Sit in silence staring in the direction that he left)_

Me: …O….K? Next questions are from author IgNighted!

_How do feel about Cao Zhen, whose glory you stole?_

Zhongda: *Laughs malevolently* I could care less about that fool.

_Are you gay?_

Zhongda: I have had four wives; Kayla being my fifth. I also have eleven children. *Sighs* And I thought you were smart.

_I heard that Zhuge Liang scared you even when he was dead. How does that feel?_

Me: That's true.

Zhongda: *To me* Shut up. *To IgNighted, whom is now on Skype with us* "I can predict the living, but not the dead."

_So, how high, out of one to ten, would you rate Zhang Chunhua and Lady Bai?_

Zhongda: Chunhua would be a negative ten and Bai would be…an eight.

Me: *Raises an eyebrow and takes three inch heel off* Are you sure?

Zhongda: *Wide-eyed* Of course, there is no number on the scale of one to ten to mark you, sweetheart.

Me: *Gives him the dead eye*

Zhongda: *Blinks* Uh… Next question!

_Which son do you love most? _

Zhongda: Although it may seem that I love Shi the most, it is not true. I love all my sons equally.

Me: *Put shoe back on* Yeah ok. Next question:

_What was it like, serving three different Caos?_

Zhongda: Four, actually. And it was boring…except for serving Zihuan. That, I will admit, was enjoyable.

Me & IgNighted: Why is that?

Me: *Glares at the screen that IgNighted is on* Shut up and listen or I will give Cao Pi your address.

IgNighted: You don't even know what country I live in!

Me: *Looks down with a scowl on my face*

IgNighted: Ha! Go ahead Yi.

Zhongda: …For one, he didn't take a troop of soldiers to my home and threaten me with arrest. Secondly, he wasn't an idiot.

Me: *Still mad at IgNighted* Next question:

_Where did you buy that hat?_

Zhongda: You like it? I see you have good taste. Anyways, it was actually given to me as a gift from Zhuge Liang. He thought it would be funny, but I actually do like this hat.

ForeverinMoonlight: *Out of nowhere* It is a nice hat.

Me, Zhongda, IgNighted, Tobi & Minako the Dragon Maiden of DW: *Look around the studio confused*

Me: …Next Question:

_If you were to go on a date with Zhuge Liang, Zhou Yu, Cao Pi, or Jia Xu, who would you choose?_

Zhongda: Neither of them because I am not gay. However, if you are asking which I would go to lunch on break with, then I would go with Cao Pi.

Me: The next question is from author ryulover19.

_If you had the chance to go back in time and change ONE thing that happened in your life, what would that be?_

Zhongda: The fact that I married Chunhua.

Me: Good job dear! The last question is from author Element Life!

_Why do you enjoy scaring little children?_

Me: What kind of question is that?

IgNighted: I know right?

Zhongda: Shut up little girl. Nobody scares little kids but you.

Me: Well that's it for today people! Join us next week when we interview Lian Shi.

_(The end music starts playing and Zhongda and I make out again)_

* * *

><p>AN: Thank you all for all of the reviews! Also, ForeverinMoonlight was not informed that I would use their name. Wherefore, if you do not wish to have your pen name in the story, please PM me and let me know so I can remove it. Be sure to leave your questions for her in your review!


	3. Season 1, Interview 3: Lian Shi of Wu

Me: Hey everyone! Welcome back to Dynasty Chat! I do apologize for the fact that it has been weeks since I interviewed one of the cast members of Dynasty Warriors. The first week is because I was just being lazy listening to my iPod (which I call my "cow". If you touch my cow, I will hurt you) and talking on the phone. The second week, however, I was studying for my mid-terms. (I got a ninety on my science mid-term. You can clap for me.)

Me: For the first time this season, our interviewee is going to be a woman-

Lian Shi: *Already mad* Get on with it! They know I'm a girl!

Me: Excuse me, rudeness. Anyways, today I will be interviewing my least favorite person in Wu: Lian Shi.

(Lian Shi walks from behind stage and shakes my hand. We both sit down)

Me: Welcome to Dynasty Chat, Lady Bu. How are you today?

Lian Shi: *Sighs* Can you just start the interview please?

Me: …First question is from author Minako the Dragon Maiden of DW

_How's your marriage with Lord Sun Quan? _

Lian Shi: *Sighs again* It is normally great, but not so much today.

Minako: *Got on Skype with us* Why is that, Lady Lian Shi? I thought everything was perfect with Sun Quan and yourself.

Lian Shi: *Sighs AGAIN* I don't know. It's just lately he is barely spending any time with me-"

Me: Well I'm sorry to hear that but this isn't marriage counseling. You and Quan should go visit a counselor and I will leave it at that.

Minako & Lian Shi: …

Me: Next question!

_What do you think about your new appearance in DW7? How do you feel?_

Lian Shi: It is a bit-

Me: Trashy?

Lian Shi: …Yes…

Me: Next question is from author Tobi-Is-Fluffy-Chan!

_What was it like serving under Sun Quan?_

Lian Shi: I believe in him and he is a wonderful leader.

Tobi: *On Skype with Minako* That wasn't the exact answer I want but it will suffice.

Me:

_Did you ever fall in love with Sun Quan?_

Lian Shi: Very quickly.

Me: But how? He atrocious!

Lian Shi: *Frowning at me* No he isn't-

DeathsColdEmbrace: (My new cohost by the way) *Walks into the studio* Hey Kylie. Oh and Lian Shi, he is ugly.

Lian Shi: *Leaves and goes behind stage*.

DeathsColdEmbrace: *Sits down next to me on the loveseat* Please enjoy the following stupid advertisements as we go to break!

_(5 minutes pass)_

DeathsColdEmbrace: Welcome back to Dynasty Chat. We have persuaded Lady Bu to come back and finish the interview with us. We will now continue our set of questions from Tobi.

_I LOVE YOUR OUTFIT! WHERE CAN I GET IT?_

Lian Shi: Well the Koei people just gave it to me and when I asked, they didn't tell me where they got it so…

Tobi: It's ok. I'll eventually find out where they got it.

DeathsColdEmbrace: Next question.

_Are you immature in any way? _

Lian Shi: I believe that everyone is immature in a way, whether it is mentally or physically.

DeathsColdEmbrace: …Thanks for that? Next question!

_If you had a chance to go out with Sun Ce, Zhou Yu (I will kill you if you choose Zhou Yu), Lu Xun or Ling Tong and Lu Bu who would it be?_

Lian Shi: Do I absolutely have to?

Tobi: Duh.

Lian Shi: …I would say Zhou Yu but I don't want you to try and kill me so I guess it would be…Lu Xun.

Tobi: You two would NOT look good together.

Minako & Me: I know right!

Lian Shi: *Gives us a death glare*

DeathsColdEmbrace: The next questions are from author IgNighted!

_How do you react to reports that say you and Zhou Yu look alike?_

Lian Shi: I personally have never heard that rumor but I do think that we do look alike, despite the fact that he is a man and I am a woman.

Me & DeathsColdEmbrace: Next Question:

_You're outfit is very... interesting. Why do you and so many other Wu people remain so pale despite all the beaches and heat?_

Lian Shi: Because we are awesome pale. We don't need tans like some people…

DeathsColdEmbrace & IgNighted: *Raise eyebrows*

DeathsColdEmbrace: Next question:

_How do you feel about Zhen Ji?_

Lian Shi: I really don't know.

Me: Okay then. The next question is from author Phil the Persona Guy!

_Why the hell do you go into battle looking like the sluttiest slut the ever slutted?_

Me & DeathsColdEmbrace: *Start laughing like idiots*

Lian Shi: *Face is redder than a tomato*

DeathsColdEmbrace: *Still laughing like an idiot* Next and final question

_You use a crossbow, why not a Cho-Ku-nu?_

Lian Shi: Because I like my crossbow! Is that OKAY with YOU?

DeathsColdEmbrace & Me: …That's it for today people…join us next time for Zhou Yu…

Me & DeathsColdEmbrace: *Run out of the studio*

_(End music plays as Lian Shi chases us trying to kill us with her crossbow)_

* * *

><p>AN: We made Lian Shi mad! Next interviewee will be Zhou Yu.


	4. Season 1, Interview 4: Zhou Yu of Wu

Emperor Ren of Jin: Yo what up my peeps, welcome back to Dynasty Chat. Kylie isn't here today because somehow she managed to catch a fever *rolls eyes*.

Emperor Ren of Jin: Anyways, today I am going to be interviewing Zhou Yu of Wu.

_He comes out and they shake hands_

Emperor Ren of Jin: Welcome to Dynasty Chat, Zhou Yu. How are you?

Zhou Yu: Well enough.

Emperor Ren of Jin: …The first set of questions is from author Minako the Dragon Maiden of DW

_Hello, Lord Zhou Yu. I have some questions._

_Do you know that your DW7 appearance reminds me of vampire? I prefer your old looks (include DW6)._

Zhou Yu: I completely agree with you. I do like a vampire, but my DW5 outfit was better than all of my outfits so…

_I can notice the friendship between you and Sun Ce. What do you think about him?_

Zhou Yu: Sun Ce is like a brother to me

Minako: *On ooVoo with us* Ok, that's all of it. Bye! *Leaves*

Emperor Ren of Jin: …Next question is from author IgNighted

_Do you like Lu Meng and Lu Xun?_

Zhou Yu: Yes

_How do you like your current look? Do you like any of your older looks more?_

Zhou Yu: As I said, I look like a vampire now. I don't like it-"

IgNighted: *On ooVoo with us* Xiao Qiao does! And don't get smart with me you stupid strategist

_In the novel and in some games you and Zhuge Liang bear great hatred toward each other. What about him, ticks you off?_

Zhou Yu: His smarts make him annoying

Emperor Ren of Jin: I know right!

Zhou Yu & IgNighted: *Glare at him*

Emperor Ren of Jin: …Next question!

_Of your fellow strategists, Zhuge Liang, Sima Yi, Jia Xu, Jiang Wei, Pang Tong, Guo Jia, please rate your favs in order and the most skilled in order._

Zhou Yu: *Yawns* First and for most is Sima Yi. He doesn't have to have great military skills to be a damned good strategist. Next would be Zhuge Liang. He has absolutely no military skills. Jiang Wei, flamboyant and annoying. He isn't even in my time period-

Emperor Ren of Jin: He is annoying.

IgNighted: That's true

Zhou Yu: Next question-

IgNighted: But you didn't finish answering-

Zhou Yu: …Next question

_Would you ever team up with Sima Yi to fight Zhuge Liang?_

Zhou Yu: Actually, I would probably have to team up with Zhuge Liang to take down Sima Yi.

IgNighted: Okay!

Emperor Ren of Jin: Next question is from author PiscesBaby

_Why you so pedo? Why not go for older girl instead of little Qiao?_

Zhou Yu: …

PiscesBaby: *On ooVoo with IgNighted* Dude are you going to answer or not?

Zhou Yu: The fires of hell shall one day engulf you, and when they do I will laugh my ass off

Emperor Ren of Jin: Dude that's not cool. You can't tell someone to go to hell. Not cool

Emperor Ren of Jin: The next question is from author ZwIcK

_If you were to ever get rid of your staff, can I have it?_

Zhou Yu: Sure

ZwIcK: *On ooVoo with IgNighted &PiscesBaby* Thanks dude!

Emperor Ren of Jin: The next questions are from Sun Ce's Fan Girl

_Of all people to marry...WHY XIAO QIAO? I mean she's adorable but my teeth ache with her._

Zhou Yu: DON'T YOU DARE TALK BAD ABOUT MY XIAO QIAO!

Emperor Ren of Jin: Wait. I thought you were married to Tobi?

Zhou Yu: … Next question!

_Okuni (SW) or Zhen Ji (DW) choose now. I'm pretty sure Tobi doesn't mind and so doesn't Xiao Qiao._

Zhou Yu: …Zhen Ji-

Emperor Ren of Jin: AH HA! YOU'RE A PIMP!

IgNighted: Ooh. Tobi is going to kick your ass! Next question!

Emperor Ren of Jin: Uh no. My line. Not yours.

_How do you see past people's ploys or strategies? I want to learn to do that._

Zhou Yu: I'm smart, you're not.

Sun Ce's Fan Girl: *Eye twitching* You'll regret that

Emperor Ren of Jin: Oh look! The next set of questions is from your wife Tobi!

_You're so awesome Lord Zhou Yu and I still love you... Xiao Qiao is going down! Humph!_

Emperor Ren of Jin: O…K!

_Ah huh, tell me this, would you care if I had defected or served under someone else? Plus what were your intentions for using the Imperial Seal?_

Zhou Yu: I would care!

Emperor Ren of Jin: That's nice. Next question is from author Phil the Persona Guy

_Who are your least favorite characters from DW5?_

Zhou Yu: Zhuge Liang and Sima Yi

Emperor Ren of Jin: I have a question for you Zhou Yu, after this one, and then I'm done.

Zhou Yu: Okay

Emperor Ren of Jin: Next question is from author sakuraXXyume

_Why are you so pale? You remind me of vampires... with lipstick... o_O_

Zhou Yu: …Why are you so short?

Emperor Ren of Jin: How would you know? Anyways this is my question

_You used to have a badass sword. WTF happened to it?_

Zhou Yu: I got tired of carrying it around

Emperor Ren of Jin: And you don't get tired of carrying that stick?

Zhou Yu: Nope *Stands up, waves at the camera and leaves*

Emperor Ren of Jin: …Well that's it for tonight. Thanks!

* * *

><p>AN: Next interviewee is Sima Zhao of Jin!


	5. Season 1, Interview 5: Sima Zhao of Jin

Me: Welcome back to Dynasty Chat! It has been a long time hasn't it?

The Emperor: *Looks at his girlfriend* You sound lame. Let me do the talking

Me: No! It's my show

The Emperor: Calm yourself

Me: *Glaring at The Emperor* Today, I will be interviewing THE Sima Zhao-

Some random guy: Emperor Ren!

Me & The Emperor: *Look at each other*

The Emperor: …Randomness. Classic

Me: Anyways, come on out Zhao!

_(He comes out from behind stage and I play with his hair before he seats himself across from me and The Emperor)_

Me: Hi Zhao Zhao! How are you doing?

Zhao:*Fixing his hair back to the way it was* I'm awesome

The Emperor: *Disliking the way his girlfriend played with Zhao's hair* I'm sure you are, after her attack on your hair

Zhao: No, it's fine. I get that a lot

The Emperor: *Glaring at Zhao* The first set of questions is from author Phil The Persona Guy

_Is it sad that your father, who mind you worked with a flamboyant sadist, is still more badass then you?_

Zhao: What? What are you talking about? Sure he's kind of…different, but trust me, he LOVES women. So, he isn't flamboyant.

Phil The Persona Guy: *On ooVoo with us* What about the badass part?

Zhao: *Performs the Sima family laugh* My father will NEVER, and I will repeat, NEVER be as badass as I am. Have you not seen my Musou in the Dynasty Warriors 7 games?

Phil The Persona Guy: Your dad would kick your ass any day

Zhao: You're wasting my time. Next question

_What's your opinion of Cao Pi?_

Zhao: Who?

Me: You know, the first emperor of Wei? The guy I first interviewed that was rude? He's about six feet tall? Maybe in his late twenties?

Zhao: …Doesn't ring a bell

The Emperor: The guy that had Lady Zhen killed because he loved your father? How can you not know who we're talking about?

Zhao: I didn't pay attention to my tutors-

Phil The Persona Guy: Well you should have. Forget it

Me, The Emperor, and Zhao: …

Me: The next set of questions is from author ZwIcK

_Are you sure you're not adopted? Shi's definitely not, but you...?_

Zhao: *Chuckles* No. I am not adopted. I don't know why everyone is asking me that

ZwIcK: *On ooVoo with Phil The Persona Guy* Sorry dude.

Zhao: You're fine

_Why did you kill my Dog you sick fiend! I mean, Zhong Hui rebelled against you too, and you didn't kill HIM in the story!_

_-on that note, why DO you get along better with Zhong Hui than with Zhuge Dan? How is that even humanly possible? _

Zhao: You're dog? Ha! First of all, I didn't kill your dog. Hu Fen did. Secondly, I did kill Zhong Hui. Just not in the story

ZwIcK: Why not?

Zhao: Hey now, it wasn't my decision

Me: Hold up! ZwIcK, you had MY dog the whole time?

ZwIcK: _Your _dog? Zhuge Dan is _my _dog. You are mistaken

Me: *Really mad* First you go and steal my dog and then Zhao goes and slaughters him! What the heck?

The Emperor: Kylie, calm down. I'll get you a new dog-

Me: I don't want a new dog. I want Danny!

The Emperor: *Hugs his girlfriend* It's ok. I'm sure this is all a misunderstanding

Me: *Sniffles* Good, because if it's not, I'm gonna dismember Zhao's arms and legs *glares at Zhao*

Zhao: *Stares wide eyed at The Emperor's girlfriend* …Uh…Next set of questions are from Minako the Dragon Maiden of DW…

_Do you ever quarrel with your wife or your family? If you say no on the first one, I envy you that you're able to get along with her_

Zhao:*Sighs* If you consider quarreling with her calling me lazy, then yes. Otherwise, no. I don't mess with my Yuanji

Minako the Dragon Maiden of DW: *On ooVoo * Of course

_I wonder how did you meet Yuanji and now how's your life this time?_

Zhao: *Stretches and relaxes in the recliner* Like I said, we're as happy as ever

Minako the Dragon Maiden of DW: *Glares at Zhao and hangs up*

Me: Well. I guess you've lost yourself a fan, Zhao Zhao

Zhao: *Almost asleep* Yeah ok. Next question

The Emperor: The next set of questions is from Kylie's friend IgNighted

_Before your death, did you like Zhuge Dan or Zhong Hui?_

Zhao: I've always liked the dog. He just rebelled and I had to shut him up. As for Zhong Hui…not so much

_How do you feel about killing Cao Mao? Would your father be proud?_

Zhao: *Looks at IgNighted who is on ooVoo and smiles* He was so proud of me that it wasn't even funny. He came back as an apparition and congratulated me. I felt awesome

IgNighted: Well I am happy for you, Zhao

_Who scares you the most in the world?_

Zhao: My niece. End of story

IgNighted: Which-

_Your brother gives your wife... vibes. How do you feel about that?_

Zhao: *Jumps up out of his chair outraged* What?

IgNighted: Calm down, boy!

Zhao: What the hell did you say?

IgNighted: …Shi, I believe, has a bit of a crush on your wife-

Zhao: I'm gonna kill that fat meatbun!

Me: Calm down, Zhao. IgNighted was just jesting. Chill out

Zhao: *Calms down* Oh… My bad

The Emperor: …Next set of questions are from Tobi. Tobi, the floor is yours

Tobi: *Gets on ooVoo* Hi Zhao!

Zhao: Hey

Tobi: Can I hug you?

Zhao: How? You are on a huge screen. If you were here, maybe

Tobi: Yay!

Tobi: Do you like your name?

Zhao: Actually, I don't. Every time I get on the phone with someone and I say my name is Zhao, they automatically assume that I am Zhao Yun. Why would I want to be him?

Tobi: Yeah. I can relate to that. I find it annoying how Kylie and The Emperor keep calling me Tobi instead of Kumi

The Emperor: But Tobi is so cute for you

Me: I know right!

Tobi: *Glares at me* This is my last question, Zhao. Why do you sometimes lose in the DW games? You're awesome. You NEVER lose

Zhao: I oftentimes ask myself that, Kumi

Tobi (Kumi): Yay! You called me Kumi!

Zhao: *Smiles to himself*

Tobi (Kumi): Bye bye Zhao! *Hangs up*

Me: The last question is from author Warrior4Life

_Who do you think is the better warrior (Also list them and why if you can) Zhao Yun, Zhang He, Xiahou Dun and Zhen Ji!_

Zhao: Zhen Ji because she knows how to have a good time and isn't so boring

Me: But she fights with a FLUTE!

Zhao: And?

Me: Zhao Yun fights with a badass spear, Xiahou Dun fights with weird looking sword that can slice me in half, and Zhang He fights with some awesome claws that can tear me to shreds!

Zhao: Okay, fine! Zhao Yun. I still like Zhen Ji better though…

Warrior4Life: *On ooVoo for a second* Because she is lazy. *Hangs up*

Zhao: Well, I have to go. I have to stop at Churches and get a box of chicken. See ya! *Leaves*

Me: …Join us next time when we interview Ma Chao of Shu!

* * *

><p>AN: It's been a while, hasn't it?


	6. Season 2, Interview 1: Ma Chao of Shu

Me: Hey everybody! Welcome to Season Two of Dynasty Chat.

_Our now live audience cheers and claps for their host's new accomplishment._

Me: Thank you everyone. Now, as you can see my cohost is out today. He has a virus. Anyways, our guest today is one of THE Five Tiger Generals. Audience, please welcome Ma Chao the Splendid!

_Ma Chao comes from backstage and the crowd starts cheering. The Empress and Chao shake hands and sit down. The crowd keeps cheering._

Me: *Talks over the cheering* Okay everyone so I have General Ma Chao here with us, as you can all see.

_The crowd keeps cheering._

Me: Um…Okay people. That's enough.

_The crowd finally quiets down._

Me: Thank. So, how are you?

Ma Chao: I'm good. How are you?

Me: Aw! You're so sweet. I'm fine. …So let's get started, shall we? The First set of questions is from author Tobi-Is-Fluffy-Chan

_Have you ever fantasized or dreamed of doing yaoi with Pang De?_

Ma Chao: What? I'm not gay!

Me: Oh that not what all of the stories on Fan Fiction are saying. You're paired with Zhao Yun, Guan Ping, even Cao-

Ma Chao: *Grits his teeth* I'm not gay. End of discussion.

Me: Well then… Next!

_Who do you think is stronger? Pang De or Zhang Fei?_

Ma Chao: I know that Zhang Fei has a major drinking problem and Pang De is too audacious at time, but nevertheless I believe Zhang Fei is the better warrior.

Kumi: *Stands up in the audience and is given a microphone* I think Pang De. Aren't you even closer to him?

Ma Chao: Yes, but Zhang Fei and I have to get along-

Kumi: So you and Pang De are only getting along for show? Or is there something more?

Ma Chao *Gives Kumi the death glare*

Kumi: *Doesn't back down*

Me: Next question

_What do you think of some of the Ma Chao/OC fan-fictions on this website?_

Ma Chao: I think that some of them are really good. I've read many.

Me: Good. The next set of questions is from author IgNighted.

_Anything to say to Wang Yi? How does it feel to know that you were somewhat responsible for the death of her family?_

Ma Chao: I have nothing to say. They were in the way of my job. I had to do what I did.

IgNighted: *Stands up next to Kumi* No you didn't. You didn't have to kill them.

Ma Chao: Had I not killed them, I would have more than one person on my case.

Me: *Cuts IgNighted off* Next question

_Who do you respect most?_

Ma Chao: Zhao Yun no doubt.

IgNighted: I can't argue with you there even though I prefer Wei men better.

_Do you fight for justice, or is that just all talk?_

Ma Chao: …That isn't a logical question. Let's move on to LadyKatatonic's questions.

_You sure you're Chinese? Because I sure as hell don't know any blond Chinese boys. Not that it's not cute._

Ma Chao: I'm 100% sure that I am Chinese. Why wouldn't I be?

Me: Well you do have blonde hair…

_Does it make you feel nice when Zhang He calls you, "the famed beauty of Xi Liang"?_

Ma Chao: I like it, just not from him.

LadyKatatonic: *Stands up* But you do like it, right?

Ma Chao: …

Me: Okay, next question is from author Warrior4Life

_Why are you obsessed with horses, because whenever I read about you, a horse always comes up? _

Ma Chao: Okay, I won't lie. I am sort of…obsessed with horses…

Me: At least you were honest about it.

Warrior4Life: True

Me: The next set of questions is from Phil the Persona Guy

_What is your opinion of your not-so-official brotherhood with Nagamasa Azai and that other Samurai Warriors guy In Warriors Orochi 2?_

Ma Chao: Azai is a fool with no honor. There is no brotherhood.

Me: But-

Ma Chao: Azai betrayed his brother-in-law because he attacked his ally, but family ties are more important than alliances.

_The audience starts clapping._

Phil the Persona Guy: *Starts clapping with the audience* Well spoken.

_Do you and Phoenix Wright go drinking? Seriously, I counted how many times you said justice in one mission (Free Mode, Bai Di Castle) and it was over 40!_

Ma Chao: What? I like to say justice; you got a problem with that?

Phil: No.

_Why would you try to kill Sima Yi and Cao Pi?_

Ma Chao: Sima Yi and Cao Pi serve my sworn enemy. They got in my way of killing him.

_Do you and Huang Zhong get along?_

Ma Chao: Yes. Huang Zhong and I get along. Just like all of the others, we have to.

Me: Next question is from my cohost.

_Ok i'll be blunt...your nickname Ma Chao the Splendid makes you sound gay, why cant you gat a beter nickname?_

Ma Chao: Well i didnt have a choice with my nickname but like i said earlier im not gay.

_M_e: The next question is from author ZwIcK.

_How many people integrate your name into the 'Macho Man' song? Or am I the only one?_

Ma Chao *Blushes*

Me: *Laughs my butt off* Well?

ZwIcK: *Comes out onto the stage* Let's hear it Chao.

Ma Chao: That song…It's like a…a worldwide anthem for homosexual men… I'm not one of them!

_The audience starts laughing at Ma Chao. He gets mad and stomps off of the stage and leaves._

Me: *Laughing with ZwIcK* Okay guys, that's all of the questions for today. See you next time when I interview Prime Minister Cao Cao of Wei!

_Audience claps and end music starts playing_

* * *

><p>AN: Well everybody, welcome to Season 2!


	7. Season 2, Interview 2: Cao Cao of Wei

Me: *Dark and eerie* After a year of silence, I will speak… Welcome back to Dynasty Chat- your favorite random and stupid talk show!

_My audience claps for a few seconds before calming, afraid of angering the guest._

Me: Thank you, everyone. Now, let me remind you of the rules. This is MY show. Dynasty Chat is a talk show that I host and ask your favorite Dynasty Warriors and Dynasty Warriors couples questions that we want answered. Our guest today happens to be one of the greatest warlords the world has ever seen. Audience, please welcome the one and only Lord Cao Cao!

_Cao Cao comes from backstage and the crowd starts cheering. The Empress and Cao shake hands and sit down. The audience quiets down._

Cao Cao: Let us make this quick. I have a fleet to attend.

Me: I wouldn't…never mind. Our first question is from Phil the Persona Guy!

_Why do you respect Liu Bei? He's a hypocrite! I hate Liu Bei!_

Cao Cao: I must agree. Liu Bei is a hypocrite. However, he has potential…to a certain extent. I understand that he is a a very formidable foe.

Phil the Persona Guy: How so?

Cao Cao: *Still calm* The people flock to him as if he is a god. That, for obvious reasons, makes him a threat to me.

_Which of the Dynasty Warriors girls whould you do the horizontal happy dance with?_

Cao Cao: I don't understand…

Me: Rhymes with duck.

Cao Cao: I see… One of the Qiao sisters. No questions asked.

Me: Ugh, why?! Xiao is too annoying and every time I see Da, I want to slap her. She's too freaking serious!

Phil the Persona Guy: Ahem, I believe the question was for the great Lord Cao Cao. Security! Please escort this peasant out of the building.

Me: *Being dragged away* Let me go! No! Nein! Nein!

_The Empress's protests fade out completely._

Phil the Persona Guy: My lord, please excuse my irrelevant friend. She knows nothing. This question is from Lonesome Butterfly.

_Do you approve of how your son ran the kingdom of Wei after you died or would you rather him have done something differently?_

Cao Cao: I would have rather him destroy the fools of Wu in the years of his reign of course. He decided to instead focus on less political matters and more…domestic. Obviously.

Phil the Persona Guy: Thank you for the question. The next two questions are from xLadyxLionheartx!

_Why did you have your doctor killed when he was just trying to cure you headaches?_

Cao Cao: *Enraged* Why wouldn't I? What kind of person would willingly allow someone to cut their head open. Are you mad? Would you like your head cut open with a sword? I can have that arranged!

Phil the Persona Guy: Chill bro. It's okay I promise. Next question.

_And why do you have SO MANY wives?_

Phil the Persona Guy: Excellent question.

Cao Cao: I look at it like this- if you limit yourself to only one person, will you tire of them. It is human nature for people to tire of things. I like change. Which is why Bian is my favorite. Next question.

Phil the Person Guy: From Minako the Dragon Maiden of DW.

_I still chuckle at your name when people misspell or annunciate it wrong (not me, I can spell your name perfectly). Well, your opinion._

Cao Cao: I will say this much. I am in no shape or form a cow. People only began calling me that when that blasted Ma Chao started calling me that. I shall fix that error today though. From here on out, if I hear anyone refer to me as "Cow", they shall be slow sliced!

_The audience gasps._

Phil the Persona Guy: Uh-oh! Royal decree alert! You heard it hear first, y'all! Right on Dynasty Chat.

_I like a quote as 'speaking of Cao Cao, Cao Cao will appear' or speaking of devil, I wonder if you have been 'boo'/scared people when you appear to them._

Cao Cao: Yes. As a matter of fact, I shall appear in your room tonight. Be cautious of what you say…

Phil the Persona Guy *Weirded out* …Okay. Thank you. Minako. Our next question is from Catnip22.

_If you could choose your wife from any kingdom who would it be?_

Cao Cao: The Lady Bian of course. As I stated before, I like versatile women.

Phil the Persona Guy: Actually, with all do respect, you didn't.

Cao Cao: *Slowly turns head and gives host a death glare*

Phil the Persona Guy: *Unbothered* Our next question is from our very own Tobi-Is-Fluffy-Chan.

_Do you think that Nobunaga Oda is your twin brother?_

Phil the Persona Guy: It's true. You're both pretty badass.

Cao Cao: We aren't but I think we should be sworn siblings. We'd be two unstoppable badasses.

Phil the Persona Guy: Absolutely. Thanks Tobi! Our next question is from Warrior4Life.

_Do you like cats? If you do what kind? Or are you a dog person?_

Cao Cao: What kind of question is this? Wats wrong with you kid… I'm more of a dog person. I quite enjoy pugs actually. I like their faces. You should send me one.

Phil the Persona Guy: That was the stupidest thing I've ever heard. Pit bulls are more of your style. Trust me. Our next question is from Florina of Ilia.

_First of all, Guo Jia! He was your favourite stratigist, right? If he had been at the battle of Chi Bi, what did you think he would've done to counter both Wu and Shu?_

Cao Cao: *Sighs* Had Guo Jia been my strategist still, he wouldn't have allowed me to let the ships be linked together. He would have seen right through that little plan of Shu and Wu's.

Phil the Persona Guy: Well, our final question is from a newcomer, Cutie Daisy.

_W-who d-do r-respect the m-most D-dian Wei or X-xu Zhu?_

Cao Cao: I hold them both to the highest regard however I must say that I respect Dian Wei more. I cannot forget what he did for me.

Phil the Persona Guy: Okay guys, that's all of the questions for today. See you next time when I interview our wonderful First Lady, the Lady Zhen Ji.

_Audience claps._

* * *

><p>AN: So like I haven't updated this in a year mainly because I am handing it off to someone. I'm sure you all know who Phil The Persona Guy is (btw, shoutout Phil!) or at least heard of him. Once this season of Dynasty Chat is over, I'll hang it up for good and let Phil take over. Thank you guys so much for the support and understanding.

Love you!

Kylie  
>#FCHW<p> 


	8. Season 2, Interview 3: Zhen Ji of Wei

Announcer: Welcome to back Dynasty Chat: Your Favorite and Most Random Talk Show! Please welcome your host and hostess, Phil the Persona Guy and kayladw7!

_Audience claps and gives standing ovation as the two hosts walk out._

Phil the Persona Guy: Thank you announcer. Welcome to Dynasty Chat: The Talk Show That Allows You to Ask Your Favorite Dynasty Warriors Question.

Me: Today our interviewee is a lady. She is the Queen of Beauty, Grace, Fashion and of course well, Queen of Wei. Lords and ladies, please welcome the one and only Lady Zhen Ji!

_Zhen saunters in gracefully and waves as the crowd claps for her. She greets the Empress and Phil the Persona Guy before taking a seat on in her seat that she had specially made for this interview. _

Phil the Persona Guy: Welcome Lady Zhen. How are you?

Zhen Ji: Well, this could always be worse. Let's begin, shall we?

Me: We will start with themaleboy.

_What tune exactly you like to play on your flute? Every time I hear those tunes, it makes me sick._

Phil the Persona Guy: Hey, I see you man! He tryin' to rip!

Zhen Ji: *snootily* I'll have you know that I can play absolutely anything on my flute. And I don't need your permission to do it!

Me: Chill! He's just asking a question.

Phil the Persona Guy: I know but you know how she gets all offended easily.

Me: I'll make something clear to you, Lady Zhen. You get smart with him again I'll slap the makeup off of your face.

Zhen Ji: *Does not reply*

Phil the Persona Guy:…Next Question!

_Would you mind re-marrying someone like Sima Yi?_

Zhen Ji: *blushes* If forced then…perhaps…

Me: That's a yes, but I'll tell you this- that wont ever happen. Yi is mine.

Phil the Persona Guy: You know that Chunhua is in Dynasty Warriors 8, right?

Me: I don't give a fat rat's ass. Sima Yi is mine and forever will be.

Phil the Persona Guy: *flirtatiously* Why don't you take this one, babe?

Zhen Ji: The next set of questions are from xLadyxLionheartx.

_Have you ever felt bad about leaving Yuan Xi for Cao Pi?_

Zhen Ji: I live a life without much regret. Had I stayed with Yuan Xi, my husband would have still ended up married to Cao somehow. He is a pursuer. Perhaps if I'd resisted…

Phil the Persona Guy: He'd have killed you.

Me: *In Russian accent* This show is no tragedy, my friends. Next question!

_How would you get back at Guo Nuwang for stealing Cao Pi away from you? _

Me: I like this question.

Zhen Ji: *smirks proudly* She would freeze to death.

Phil the Persona Guy: Ouch…That's kinda harsh…

Me: I like the way you said it though. It was badass.

Phil the Persona Guy: The next question is from Ashdragon.

_Are you jealous of Diao Chan?_

Zhen Ji: *laughs* What is to be jealous of? She's not even of noble status.

Me: I think she may be referring to her appearance, Lady Zhen.

Zhen Ji: Even less to be jealous of. Even the thought of being touched by the disgusting rat Dong Zhuo! Ugh!

Phil the Persona Guy: Zhen got that ass though.

Me: *laughing* Warrior4Life!

_Would gold suit you better, or would silver? Because personally I think silver would compliment you above all else, but that's my opinion and that doesn't matter in this case._

Zhen Ji: Silver is my favorite color! It goes with any and everything.

Phil the Persona: So does gold…

Zhen Ji: But not as well as silver hon. Trust me, I know what I'm talking about.

Phil the Persona Guy: *Licking his lips* I'm sure you do.

_Can you give Lord Cao Cao this Pug puppy? He made a damn scene about it last interview so. . ., I gave Xiahou Ba a bunny, and, do you like any kind of animal species?_

Zhen Ji: I loves pugs as well! But as for a wild animal, it has to be a wolf. They're so cunning and beautiful. Wolves as what I consider to be the classiest of animals.

Phil the Persona Guy: They sure are. Classy in public but freaky when it's time.

Me: *In Russian accent* This isn't a provocative talk show! Stop that.

Phil the Persona Guy: I believe that I am entitled to the last question.

_Between you, me, the audience, Kylie, and the fence post, was it fun to see Yuan Shao (Diving Headbutt of DOOM!) get flustered whenever one of his plans went wrong?_

Zhen Ji: Yuan Shao is an expert when it comes to appearances. To see him get flustered? Hilarious.

Me: We'll I think that's all for today. Surprisingly this was a rather normal interview. I don't think we've ever had one of those before so yeah. I guess that's a good thing.

Phil the Persona Guy: Like hell it is! Do you not realize all the crap Cao Cao put me and Warrior4Life through? He had to pay like a gazillion dollars just for this one puppy. Lady Zhen, would you mind giving this thing to Cao Cao? He made a big freaking scene about it last time so we need to try and get him out of our hair.

Zhen Ji: *takes dog* I'll keep him.

Phil the Persona Guy:…Join us next time as we interview Xiahou Dun of Wei! Peace out!


End file.
